On a recent trip home for my grandmother’s funeral, I walked into my parent’s house to see her legacy stacked high on the coffee table. Photo books galore. Nothing fancy–just binders full of pictures and her priceless captions and grandmotherly musings.
“Here’s Queen Nicolette and all of her royal subjects…”
As I sat down and opened the first book, my childhood unfolded before my eyes. Moments I’d completely forgotten about, like the time we “built” a tree house by haphazardly nailing up old boards on a skinny little Aspen, or the quiet moment I sang to my grandpa on my guitar before he passed away.
As I turned page after page, I was struck with the simplicity of each sliver in time she captured. None of these pictures were the “perfect” events that you generally pull out the camera for: birthdays, graduations, Sunday mornings when each hair is plastered neatly in place and clothes are stain and wrinkle free. No, these pictures showed kids with layers of dirt in their dimples, grass-stains on their knees, and wild, crazy hair that reached toward the sky.
Every single one of these pictures showed kids being kids.
Now that I think about it, when her camera wasn’t propped up to her eye, it was on the kitchen counter, ready at a moment’s notice. I thought about my own camera, stored carefully away in its cushy case, way up high in the coat closet, only brought out for perfect occasions when every child looked their best; for special moments like the blowing out of birthday candles, or the presentation of awards.
Oh gosh, what had I been missing?
In my attempt to capture Instagram-worthy photos that would generate many likes, I was missing the most important moments of my children’s lives. The quiet moments where they discovered the wonders of a goldfish, or created the most enthralling construction site ever. In my attempt to wait for perfect moments, I was missing all of the imperfect ones that made each and every minute of my day so sweet.
Ever since this article, I have been desperately clinging to every thread of childhood that I have with my four babes. Going through my sweet grandma’s photo books made me suddenly realize: I have to stop waiting for perfect moments.
Life travels too swiftly. In my daily life, I’m not ashamed to say that we reside in our jammies for much longer than is socially acceptable. We have snarly, jacked-up hair that never seems to stay in place. I have children whose assertion towards independence includes dressing themselves in creative ensembles you’ll never find in a GAP ad. The floor is generally strewn with toys, someone inevitably has snot running down their nose, and most of our grins are accessorized with chocolate quotation marks and milk mustaches. In my daily life with four children, perfect moments are few and far between.
Life is not made of perfect moments. However, it is pieced together beautifully by many imperfect ones. In-between those cracks is where real, authentic, life-long joy is found. If I waited for perfect moments when everyone’s hair was tamed, clothes matched, and noses were snot-less, I would miss my entire life. It would pass me by so quickly, and I’d have nothing to show for it.
Stop waiting for perfect pictures. Stop comparing yourself and your children to seemingly perfect photos on social media. Capture as many banal, seemingly mundane, everyday photos of your children as you can. Every day those shirts get smaller and those jeans creep up higher.
When my kids are grown, and I’m rocking back and forth in my squeaky old rocking chair…when my face is mostly wrinkles and I’ve lost track of my age…the moments I will treasure, will yearn for, are the everyday, messy-faced moments that I got to share with my babies.
Don’t hide your cameras in the closet. Every day is full of beautiful, tiny moments that will silently disappear unless you catch them.
Sometimes it’s hard to train ourselves to be in the moment, but a great place to start is to get involved with our #nowmom challenge! See the details:
Now that you’re going to be getting out the camera a lot more, you might like to read these tips for taking great photos of your kids:
Missy says
Thanks for the reminder. I seem to go in waves where I take a good amount of pictures one week then don’t take any for three weeks. I want to be more consistent and better about capturing the little things. One other idea I just started doing is instead of writing down funny things my kids say (which I would forget to do a lot), I pull out my phone and tell them to say it again while I record them. funny stuff. 🙂
Nicolette says
I love that idea! That way, you get to preserve their voices and see the difference as they grow:)
Myoriah says
I’ve been sorting through photos and I’m so happy I took everyday photos of my son growing up. Yes, I sometimes cringe to see how cluttered with toys and other things the house was.. One of my favorite photos is of my son conducting an orchestra I could not see with chocolate cake mix on his face. Thanks for this reminder as I now have grandchildren.
Nicolette says
I love this story! There are so many moments like that in a day that just quietly go away. What a treasure that photo is. I hope to catch lots of those;)
Nicolette says
I love this story! There are so many moments like that in a day that just quietly go away. What a treasure that photo is. I hope to catch lots of those;)
Deb C says
Thank you for reminding me that life with our children is about the now moments. In the crazy day to day of work, school, and after school sports, it can be easy to forget. While mine are still young I am trying to enjoy them and take those “real” pictures that warm the heart and bring back memories of the day.
MomofTwoPreciousGirls says
I think you hit the nail on the nail on the head with social media. Many times we are trying to portray what we think will impress others. Your grandmother was preserving memories as a legacy for her family. Our generation seems to takes photos for outsiders, rather than ourselves. I used to post every little thing on Facebook (even the not so pretty). I eventually realized I was creating an online identity for two little people without their say. After many hacks on my account, I also realized I was putting their safety at risk. I ended up removing my whole profile. I have a phony account to use in order to follow blogs I like, but that is all. I just snap all the photos and take all the videos I can of everything!
Nicolette says
I think that is a poignant observation…that today we seem to take photos for outsiders rather than ourselves. So true. Putting our kids on parade without their knowledge doesn’t seem fair to them. Thanks for this perspective.
Sara says
We used to own a DSLR camera until I realized I was taking a lot less pictures with it than when we had a regular point and shoot camera. It was just a hassle to haul around when my point and shoot fits in my purse and can be pulled out in a moments notice, We promptly sold our DSLR when I realized I hardly had any evidence of our family life to put into our yearly Shutterfly books that we do. Now we can easily whip out the camera when we are enjoying a first time experience at the local plant nursery picking out strawberry plants or when our young boys are making each other laugh while they have a “diaper fight” (with clean unused diapers). The beauty of computers these days is that a picture can be lightened or cropped and made to really capture the moment after the fact, but if the moment never gets captured in the first place than it’s gone. I like to think of our pictures as my memory and my family’s memory’s and I want them to have a lot of life to look back on.
Nicolette says
Diaper fights..haha! Those are the EXACT moments I hope to capture. And yes, camera phones make it so easy to catch everyday moments. Love it!
Penny says
I love this! And when you get as old as I am you will realize that the imperfect days were really the most perfect of all.