Stupid arguments—we’ve all been there, done that. Some are more silly than others and some spouse arguments last a few minutes while others can grow into Hulkish proportions. My husband and I seriously iced each other out for a solid two hours one time over #4 on this list.
Here are 11 arguments that in the grand scheme of things, just aren’t worth fighting over.
1. Wet towels
When found in a clump on the closet floor, a wet towel can be aggravating. And when discovered days later hiding under a pile of dirty clothes smelling all moldy, a wet towel can be grounds for war. But before things get bloody, talk about it first. You can surely land on a neutral place to put wet towels.
2. Who should apologize first.
If you’re waiting for the other person to apologize first, you may be waiting awhile. As in a whole episode of Grey’s Anatomy, five chapters of a book, and quite possibly while you organize your 5,382 emails. It’s okay to be the first one to say I’m sorry.
3. Your spouse’s lack of telepathy.
It’s so frustrating that males haven’t learned the art of telepathy yet and the fact that they can’t read our minds makes us ladies wanna beat our heads against the pantry door. Just know what I’m thinking already! But cut your spouse some slack—your head isn’t a crystal ball. Try saying what you are thinking to avoid any unnecessary disagreements.
4. How to properly make garlic bread.
Honest to goodness, this was our first fight as a couple. Before we were married, my husband and I took a trip with his family. One night we were making Italian and I offered to make the garlic bread. During the entire process, Zac was peering over my shoulder, pointing out all of the things I didn’t do correctly like his mother did.
5. How you’d spend the lottery money.
Forget about having an argument about actual money, try having a conversation about how you’d spend the 50 million lottery jackpot. Or don’t, if you like keeping marital harmony.
6. The thermostat.
Is there a couple on Earth who can agree on the thermostat? The secret of marriage lies in your ability or inability to compromise that one number. Even if one of you must patrol the house in a parka and the other in swim trunks, find a balance that works without the battle.
7. How to drive.
Nobody likes a back seat driver. When your better half is getting passed by geriatric drivers or getting a little brake-happy, just remember the Bambi Principle: if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.
8. The proper way to load the dishwasher.
You can’t fault a spouse for trying to be helpful, even when he puts the mugs where the plates go and loads your favorite cast iron pan into the dishwasher. He’s just trying to show you he cares. He’s not aware of your meticulous dishwasher loading regimen.
9. How long you should stay at church.
Couples, use this as a cautionary tale to avoid a very huge and needless argument. (This of course happened to a friend of mine.) When going to church, an awkward work party, or the in-law’s house, always set clear expectations of how long you will both stay.
10. Wiping your hands on the decorative towels.
Decorative towels are for display only. There doesn’t need to be a sign saying, “These are decorative towels. Not for wiping.” You should just see a decorative towel and know it’s off limits.
If you are the wiper and you love your spouse, do her a favor and use the non-decorative towels for drying your hands (even if it seems silly). If you are the decorative towel owner, understand that people make mistakes. It’s not worth clashing over.
11. Putting the milk carton back in the fridge with one drop left.
I know, this spouse argument gets me too. Every time I see that empty milk carton in the fridge with basically enough milk to wet a Cheerio, I want to stomp on it and yell, “Why? Why? WHY?” But there’s no use crying over spilt milk and there’s no use yelling over empty milk cartons either.
In the words of that famous 1960s anti-war slogan, make love not war. Knowing that some things just aren’t worth arguing over will make for one happy, healthy relationship, even if the garlic bread is never quite as good as your mother’s.
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