One day this fall, I spent several hours watching home videos. It started with one, but like Lindt Truffles, cashews, and handbags on clearance, you can never stop with just one. Each video I watched made me more nostalgic, filled me with more longing for simpler times, times when the kids were littler, when their problems were easily solved with a kiss.
I wanted to transport myself Star-Trek-style back to the moment when Wanda discovered the faucet, when Magoo learned to talk on the phone, or when all the kids were gleefully unwrapping their trip presents on a road trip across Montana. Beam me up, Scotty! Let’s do childhood again. And again. And again.
What struck me as the day drew to a close, besides the fact that my family was hungry and the whole house smelled faintly of sour milk, was that the videos I loved the best, the ones that made me cry with joy and hit rewind over and over again were not huge moments. They weren’t the Nobel Prizes of my children’s elementary careers. The films I treasured the most were taken at times when I probably wondered why the camera was running at all. The quiet tiny moments of my family simply being were the memories that took my breath away.
One swing out of a thousand.
My first plan of action after gorging on home movies all day and realizing that the tiny moments were what brought me the most joy was to begin videotaping my kids at all times and in all things and in all places. Not a moment of their childhood would go unrecorded!
It took me about three seconds to realize there were flaws in this plan. First of all, I refuse to wear Google Glass – RE: I am not that dorky yet. Second of all, my phone battery would never last long enough. Thirdly, I do not have an NSA-style data center in which to store all the data. Fourthly, if I were constantly recording my children, I would never have time to watch the old movies. And fifthly, it was the worst idea ever.
Sometimes I wish I could just live inside these home movies, I thought.
And then it hit me – YOU DO! I do live inside the home movies. Every minute of every day, I could be reveling in the joy of my life, my family, my children, their weird quirks, their cute mispronunciations, even their tantrums and timeouts. The moments I whip through today are the same memories I would watch with rapt attention three or five or fifty years from now, were they recorded on video.
So, if they would mean that much to me then, why do I rush through them almost blindly now? Have you ever had a day where you went to bed and you weren’t sure if you’d even made significant eye contact with any of your family members or friends? I have.
If I look at my life throughout the day from the perspective that it is full of moments to be cherished, then those tiny flashes of magic will be recorded on my heart. I’ll be able to recall them when I need a boost, when I’m dwelling on the negative, when my life seems too hard or too mundane.
I took this idea for a test drive. The day following the home movie overload, I lived my life as though it were the most treasured home movie in my collection. I stared in rapture as my 4-year-old attempted and attempted and attempted to zip her coat. Then I helped her finish the job. I looked into my 8-year-old’s eyes as he told me about his day and his retelling of events grew more and more animated as he sensed that I was really listening and that I was thrilled by every detail.
I brushed my 10-year-old’s hair, paying attention to how its smooth strands felt between my fingers, stroking it a little longer than was necessary before pinning it up into a ballet bun.
This can all sound super cheesy and trite. Be present. Love the forts and the messes and wax poetical about brushing your toddler’s squirmy teeth. I’ve heard it a million times and it never sunk in. BE PRESENT FOR YOUR LIFE.
What I needed to make it real for me was context. What I needed was a day spent pining for years gone by and wondering if I had enjoyed them as much when they were happening as I did when I was reliving them, knowing I hadn’t.
Deciding that these moments matter in the present gives them weight. Deciding to pay attention to the details makes the details important and infuses them with joy.
Am I going to stop recording things like a madwoman on my cell phone camera? No. But I don’t have to record everything. If I show up for all of it, really show up without multi-tasking, I won’t need fifty thousand terabytes of home movies to watch. I’ll be too busy living.
You can find more of Kathryn on her blog, Daring Young Mom. My favorite post and one not to miss, Drops of Awesome. Go read it. Thank me later. 🙂 – Missy
Missy says
kathryn. thank you for being here and sharing this beautiful post. i needed this reminder as the season can be so hectic. thank you thank you.
Kathryn Thompson says
Thanks, Missy. I’m excited to be here!
STACY says
This is the BEST article! Your post was so fun to read and so true! I needed this great reminder this time of year when all I feel like I am doing is multitasking! Well said! Thank you so much for your words!
Kathryn Thompson says
Thanks Stacy. Multi-tasking is my kryptonite. I do everything so much better when I slow down and do one thing at a time, but it’s so hard, especially in December!
Mindy says
I love this sentiment and think about it often. How much do you record and take pictures of and post, and how much do you just stop and enjoy in the moment. I think everyone (myself included) could do a lot more living in the moment. Thanks for sharing this!
Kathryn Thompson says
Mindy – I think I first thought about this in college when I was studying documentary film. It suddenly hit me that I was so concerned with capturing moments that I wasn’t really experiencing any. I’m glad it resonated with you too.
Ashley says
I absolutely love and needed to read this post today. Thank you and welcome to HDS.
Ashley
Kathryn Thompson says
Thanks Ashley! I’m excited to be here.
Nesleirbag says
Kathryn, you are ONE HECK OF A WRITER! With our techie world, we do get caught up in recording everything, rather than just being in the moment. I LOVE your last sentence best. Being in the reminiscing time of life, your words ring true to me. “I’ll be too busy living.”
Your wisdom shines through – keep these posts coming!
Kathryn Thompson says
This is so nice of you. This idea has been on my mind for a while. It really does help put everything in perspective when you think about what you’re doing in the moment and enjoy the life you have.
Nicolette says
So true! I try so hard to think along these lines daily…these little lives are so precious! Thanks for the reminder to relish the little things and welcome to HDS!
Kathryn Thompson says
Thanks for the welcome. Nice to meet you!
Janet says
I so appreciated this post as well as your Drops of Awesome post. Both are great reminders for all and if we could really live our lives with these intentions then how wonderful each day would be. Who wouldn’t want to video every moment of every day? Thank you for the sweet reminder to soak it all in.
Kathryn Thompson says
Thanks Janet!
Shelley says
This is absolutely beautiful. Choked me up a few times while reading it. Thank you for the reminder. I am going to try to “live in my movies” this week. Perfect time of year to be treasuring each and every moment, right? Thanks for this sweet sweet post.
Kathryn Thompson says
I hope you have a wonderful Christmas, Shelley.
Patricia says
A really good reminder for all of us to slow down and live our lives. Thank you!
Emily says
You’ve inspired me today to SLOW DOWN! Insightful thoughts and well put! Thank you!
Dawn says
Such a great reminder…and so beautifully said! Thank you!!
Rosemary says
Love your Brownie camera! My Dad had a 16mm just like the one on your post. My sister has been putting the developed movies on CDs for us. We grew up in the 50’s and the movies are great. Keep taking those videos. Your children and grandchildren will love to see them “down the road.” My kids have yet to see movies of us four girls which we will share at Christmas. this year!
Carlie says
Thank you. This article is so important in reminding me that life is a gift and not something that should be taken for granted. I will try to remember that each day and teach my children to do the same.
Julie Wallace says
Thank you for this article. I too love to watch old videos and look at photos and find myself lamenting, just a little, the fact that everyone is growing up. But have also felt that I’ve become a little obsessed about recording my kids lives. I am always thinking “oh I gotta get a picture of this for their book!” So for 2014 I will work on living in the moment. I will slow down and pay attention to the details of the moment and love it! Thank you for the reminder.
Moda says
I share a lot of really beautiful.. Thank you!!
Neelia says
hard to believe she is alradey one year old!a0 You may remember meeting Camryn Reese when she was born.a0 Or, you may remember Helen’s surprise valentine gift last year to her husband John.a0 But,