Put your oxygen mask on first: 5 ways to recharge and love your life!

There is a reason why airline safety instructs you to put your own oxygen mask on before assisting others.   In the case of cabin depressurization, you have only a few moments of useful consciousness before passing out from lack of oxygen.  You have to help yourself before you can help others.

Being a responsible, contributing member of society can be exhausting.  And time-consuming.  Not to mention stressful.  You may be working full time, or over-time.  The demands upon you are so heavy, The Governator himself couldn’t lift them.  Maybe you’re a stay-at-home parent.  Trying to rationalize with tyranical toddlers and teens can be more difficult than the most volatile foreign peace negotiations.   Family, civic, and religious responsibilities consume your free time.  There are moments you want to pull your hair by the follicles, look to the heavens, and scream.

Go right ahead and do it.  After you’re done, take a tip from that flight attendant and remember that before you can be a good parent/employee/coach/CEO/lunch lady/human being, you must put your own oxygen mask on first.

For myself, I know I need to recharge when I start to get short with the people I love the most.  My husband and kids bear the brunt of my frustrations.  I hate myself for yelling at the most adorable kids on earth, just because they want three more stories before bed.  I feel despicable for snapping at the love of my life because he tracked mud into the house.  That person makes me feel awful inside.  But how do we prevent that person from coming out?  Put your own oxygen mask on first.

Here are five ways we can recharge and remember that the lives we have are too beautiful and precious to spend angry or discouraged.

1. Get your alone time.

Being alone means being a.l.o.n.e.  No kids, no spouse, no co-workers, nobody.  The poet Rumi said,  “A little while alone in your room will prove more valuable than anything else that could ever be given you.”  

Carve some time out of your hectic day for some sweet solitude.  Exercise alone.  Listen to music that moves your soul without the distraction of children or work.  Lock the door and take a long bath.

When life gets stressful, or there is so much noise, you can’t hear yourself think, find a way to be alone.  Have someone watch the kids and take a drive.

When I was teaching high school, the constant demands, frenetic noises, and whirlwind transitions left me wound so tight, I was ready to snap.  On the way home, I’d take a detour down the coastal highway.  I treasured that twenty-minutes all to myself. It was just the thing I needed to unwind, recharge, and be able to go to work again the next day.

Now I’m a full-time mom and the noises are just as frenetic, the demands just as constant, and the transitions from school, to soccer, to laundry, to dinner are just as stressful.  Alone time is pretty precious around here.  It’s hard when little folks follow your every step.  Even five minutes alone in the bathroom is priceless.  Every mom needs alone time.  And don’t ever feel guilty for wanting it, or for getting it.

A good friend of mine books a hotel room every so often just for herself.  {Her hubby gladly obliges, knowing that a happy wife is a happy life.}  She reads, watches whatever she wants on t.v., calls friends, and gets a fabulous night’s sleep.

When I get my alone time, I am always more kind to my children, more tolerant of others, and more forgiving of myself.  Whatever your perfect solitude involves: long baths, quiet projects, or scenic drives–make the time daily to do them.

2. Don’t give up on your passions.

Remember when you used to love dancing, writing poetry, or traveling?  Just because you’ve become married/a parent/a professional, doesn’t mean you should give up on your passions.  Somewhere deep inside is your inner “fun” self whispering, “Don’t forget me!”

Having passions makes us happy.  And when we are happy, the people who orbit our world will be too.  Put your own oxygen mask on before assisting others.  The key is finding a balance that works for you.  Make time to continue or revisit the activities you love to do while still being devoted to family and other commitments.

My hubby loves to golf.  I witness how it physically and mentally relaxes him.  When he comes back from golfing, there is a light in his eyes that before was dulled by a stressful work week.  I love that light; it makes him wrestle with the kids or give me a playful squeeze.  We all have passions that lights up our eyes.  Don’t give up on them.

3. Do something that scares you.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Do one thing every day that scares you.”  It’s the best way to prevent life from getting stagnant.  If you’re feeling bogged down by the same ol’ routine day after day, than it’s time to step out of your comfort zone.

Brush aside your unease and try that new hot yoga class you’ve been eying. Take the steps to continue your education like you’ve always wanted to.  Cut off the 12 inches of hair that have defined you for the past fifteen years.  Take a trip by yourself.  Eat at that exotic restaurant with no chairs and no silverware.  Go zip lining!

Take that leap faith that teeters the line between normalcy and adventure; it will be exhilarating.

4. Schedule special time with your BFFs.

Whether it’s your high school bestie, your significant other, your sisters, or your favorite pals, schedule something special every so often.  Maybe it’s pedicures once a month, a Harley road trip (don’t you just love my cute parents-in-law below?), or a memorable vacation.  Spending time with people who know and love you uniquely can be just the breath of fresh air you need.

For years, my husband and I have made nebulous plans to see a Dave Matthews Band concert at The Gorge, Washington.  But inadequate excuses always thwarted us from going.  It was on our bucket list for good reason.  Nine years ago, a handsome college boy stopped me on the quad and told me to clear my schedule that night for a special surprise.  I waited all night for a call that never came.  My disappointment deepened when I learned he had tickets to a DMB concert and took a buddy instead.  Yup, that was my husband (enter hisses and boos).  He owed me…big time.  So finally, after seven years of marriage and three children, we decided to seize the moment and do it.  We bought tickets, got a babysitter, and had an amazing experience that made us fall in love all over again.  I came home recharged, rejuvinated, and resolved to be a better partner and a better mom.

5. Create something.

There is a certain feeling of wonder and accomplishment you get by building something from nothing.  It can be a gorgeous cake, a piece of refinished furniture, or your own business  Channeling energy into creating things can be a great stress reliever.  Not to mention, you might find something you are absolutely amazing at.  Being creative gives you confidence in your ideas and makes life more fun and interesting.

We’ve all felt plagued by the drudgery of our responsibilities.  But before you get bogged down by the pressure, take a moment to secure your oxygen mask.  With a little fresh air, you’ll begin to notice that the best things in life are all around you.