Have you yelled at your child?
I haven’t (today). If you have, then you know the tough consequences that accompany that momentary loss of control. Your child feels terrible. You feel terrible. And no one knows quite what to do to make things better. It’s a hard predicament but, with these tips, you can learn how to make up and move on after yelling at your child.
Obviously, things would be much easier if yelling could be avoided. But let’s be real, for most of us, that just isn’t likely. As much as we hate it, yelling is almost unavoidable some times. There are moments when your patience has been tried ten times too many. There are days when your children just won’t listen to anything lower than 10 decimals.
You are going to yell. You shouldn’t. No one should. But we do.
So, how do we handle it? How do we mend the bruised relationship & come out of these tough times ok? I’ve done research (& through thorough trial & error) I’ve come up with some tips to help you make up and move on after yelling.
What to do after you yell: How to make up and move on
The first thing you need to do is relax. If possible, remove yourself from the child & the situation that just put you over your limit. Take a few deep breaths, count to 10 (or 100 if need be), sing your happy song, do whatever you need to do to get your emotions back in check so that you can be in a calm, rational state before you step back into that irritating situation.
You messed up, now you have to own it. Acknowledging your mistake not only models good behavior but it helps set the stage for an open dialogue between the two of you.
Chances are good that, with all the heated emotions, your child was more than a little overwhelmed. He probably isn’t 100% clear on what led you to blow your top. This is a good chance to let him know what frustrated you in the first place & what you expect moving on.
Make a deal. Talk to your child about how you are both going to do your best to do better. Focus on moving forward together.
Take a second to mend that broken bond. If your child is open to it, give them a hug or even a high five. Never push physical touch on her without her complete consent. Spend a few minutes talking about or doing something positive; try to end this bad experience on a good note.
After you’ve stepped away from your child take a moment to reflect on what happened. What triggered your frustration or anger? How could you respond better next time? The best thing we can do when we mess up is to learn from our mistakes; this is our opportunity to figure out how to do better the next time your patience are inevitably pushed to their limits.
Let it go:
You messed up & even though it is not ideal it is ok. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Now is the time to let go of your mistake & move on.
It’s tough to accept, but you aren’t going to be a perfect parent 100% of the time. None of us are. If you can acknowledge your weaknesses & work to do better than you are as perfect as any parent can be. Just be sure to follow these steps to make up and move on with your child after those tough times.
For even more help in navigating the journey of parenting, check out some of these other great ideas: