Kids have no filter, as many of us have learned the hard way. Just yesterday I was walking down the aisle of a store and heard a little voice yell from the next aisle over, “Mom, can I eat this?”
“No, gross! We don’t eat boogers!”
Although I could laugh then, I thought back to times my own four kids have belted out unfiltered and way too loudly in a public place. Hopefully you can relate.
5 Mortifying Things My Kids Have Yelled in Public
1. Caught in a fib
When my nine-year-old daughter (who is like the moral compass of our family) was out running errands with me, we ran into an acquaintance from church who asked if I would be attending the activity that night.
“Oh, I’m sorry, we have something going on tonight,” I said.
“Mom,” my daughter interjected, “we don’t have anything going on tonight.”
I had to back-pedal the whole way out of the store.
2. Alleged child abuse
My three-year-old is going through a funny phase where he accuses everyone of hitting him. If his brother won’t let him play with a toy, he yells down, “MOM…NIXON HIT ME!” When my husband gets stern with him, he yells, “MOM…DAD HIT ME!”
About a month ago, little buddy and I were at Costco and he asked if he could have the superhero costume on display there. When I replied that no, we were not buying that today, he fervently bellowed, “MOM…STOP HITTING ME!”
3. Oh my gosh…I’m so sorry!
Maybe my kids are too observant. Maybe I haven’t talked to them enough about tact, or perhaps knowing when to say something out loud and when to simply think it in your head is an advanced skill.
When my middle daughter was younger, she had this sweet obsession with babies. She loved seeing babies in public and pointing out pregnant mommies. That turned out to be a huge problem. On several occasions, we’d be at the store or park and Piper would say loudly enough to be overheard, “Mommy, that lady has a baby in her belly.”
None of the ladies had babies in their bellies.
4. Seriously, I’m SO sorry.
You can’t blame kids for their lack of cultural understanding. When we were at a community event and my son saw a group of Muslim women wearing Niqab, my son yelled out, “Look mom…ninjas!”
5. Shoot me now.
I had taken my three-year-old with me into the drug store to grab a few items. While we were checking out, he was grabbing items from the displays nearby. He ran up to me holding a box of Preparation H. “Hey mom…here’s your bum medicine!”
If similar situations have left you red in the face, don’t worry, you’re not alone. Just know that we’ve all been on the hot seat a time or two.
Gloria says
Hilarious! I have a good one. My youngest grandson was about three and brother about 6.
My daughter picked them up at the day care at the gym. On the way out, among lots of people, big brother Jack said loudly that Grant kept saying the F word. The F word he meant was Fart. Suzy hustled them to the car as fast as she could.
Nicolette McKinlay says
Hahaha! That is hilarious! It reminds me of a what my son said at the dinner table once: “Mom, I know all the bad words. The S word, the F word, the B word…”
Me: “WHAT?”
Him: “Yeah,” he whispers, “Stupid, fart, and butt.”
Kids are the best!
Katie says
When flying with my 3 year old daughter we had a tight connection at the airport and had to run from our gate to another terminal to catch our flight. My husband grabbed our bags and I held my daughter on my hip and ran. She yelled out, “mommy all this bouncing tickles my vagina!” The airport was crowded and several people chuckled. I was mortified!
Nicolette McKinlay says
Oh.my.goodness! So funny, and so mortifying at the same time. One of those things you can definitely laugh about later!
Paula says
Overheard in the grocery store “get your mouth off your sister!”
Nicolette says
Haha! Yes! I’ve had to say versions of that as well. 😉
Dana says
Thanks for sharing. I always feel that no one else has ever had “that child”. Haha. 😂😂 You seem to manage motherhood very well.
Michelle says
My daughter was potty training and the ladies restroom at the restaurant had a long line out the bathroom door. A worker at the restaurant suggested I take her to the men’s room since no one was in there. There was someone in there (we didn’t realize it until my child was on the potty). My child asked about their shoes and the noises coming from the other stall.. I wanted to die!
Nicolette McKinlay says
My kids have done that before too!!! (Although not in the opposite gender bathroom…you definitely win for that!) I get out of there as fast as I can and don’t make eye contact!
Michelle says
Hilarious stories! I don’t have children of my own, but I do have a story to tell. I was grocery shopping, pushing my cart down every aisle. In one of the many aisles, I ran into one of my good friends. I had not seen my friend in a while and we began to talk. Sitting in the shopping cart seat, my friend had her 3 year old son, Tanner. As we all know, children can get bored and impatient. However, my friend and I kept talking, shifting and moving our shopping carts out of the way of fellow shoppers. We were incredibly focused on our conversation. All of the sudden, little Tanner loudly and curiously exclaims, “Mommy, mommy, look at that fat lady! Why is she so big, mommy? Mommy, She’s really fat!” My friend and I didn’t even turn to look. We pushed our carts towards separate aisles.