Women are complicated creatures. Even the most intelligent physicists on the planet, Stephen Hawking, the man who interprets black holes and quantum mechanics, revealed that one mystery still eludes him—women.
We get it. We can be somewhat…unpredictable. Women will ask you to crank up the A/C and then request a blanket. We may feel like tacos one minute and then find them revolting the next. What can we say, other than just love us for the complex motherboards that we are. If you’re still left scratching your head, here are a few clues into the mysterious female mind.
9 Mysteries of a Woman’s Mind Decoded
1. If she changes her minds a lot, it’s only because she wants to make the right decision.
Hang that picture right there…no, wait…over there. Hold on, these shoes aren’t right; hang tight while I switch. Monday she wants the Krypton blue for the walls, Tuesday it’s Copen blue. Before you scream, “WOMAN, MAKE UP YOUR MIND!” just appreciate the fact that your lady is trying to make the absolute best decision possible. Don’t question her motives—in her mind, it all makes sense.
2. She’s in this 100% and may get frustrated when it seems you’re not.
Whether it’s marathon training, going gluten-free, or potty training, she’s all in. When women are dedicated to a cause, they give it 100% and they want you to too. They want a partner in crime. When it seems like you’re only semi-interested, they may get frustrated which commonly gets diagnosed as PMS.
3. You think you are communicating enough, she needs you to communicate 10 times more.
However often you think you touch bases with your wife or girlfriend, do it more. Women need communication. It’s the oil to our squeaky hinge. My husband and I once got in a cold war over a miscommunicated pint of Ben and Jerry’s.
4. If she gets silent, that’s bad. Real bad.
You thought that meant women never shut up? Ugh, you’re so sexist. Silence on her end may mean she’s bottling something in. Instead of yelling or putting up a fuss when they’re upset, some women hit the mute button and wait for you to coax the problem out of her. If you’re oblivious of the tension in her silence, maybe it’s time to tune in and ask her what’s up.
5. “I’m fine” actually means “I’m not fine, ask me more.”
Going along with #4, when you ask her, “Are you ok?” she’ll most likely answer, “I’m fine.” Woman translation: I’m fine means she is actually NOT fine, but she doesn’t want to be the one to start the conversation. Probe a little deeper, ask her more, get to the heart the issue. And good grief, please don’t ask if her period is coming soon. If you do, hide the statue of Beethoven on your mantle.
6. She expects you to read her mind. Is that so much to ask?
You both crash on the couch after a hectic Thursday to unwind. You grab the remote and turn on Sports Center and completely zone out the drumming of her fingernails on the end table and zone in on the highlights of last night’s playoff game. You don’t even see the steam coming from her ears. It’s Thursday. Thursday! You know she always watches Grey’s Anatomy on Thursday (you do know that right?). You must know that the kids gave her hell today with their forgotten history projects, lost shoes, pooped in underwear, and marker masterpieces on the wall. You must have known that. You glance up when she abruptly leaves the room and think she probably has to pee. She doesn’t come back and without even knowing it, you’ve got a full-blown inferno on your hands. Because you couldn’t read her mind.
Why didn’t she just tell you? Because you are supposed to know already.
7. She loves your attention to details. Your small actions don’t go unnoticed.
Women love the small things that men do. Play with the kids, offering her a piece of gum, remembering how she likes her steak cooked, placing your hand on the small of her back. Those seemingly tiny things mean a big deal to her. Keep doing them; they do not go unnoticed.
8. She doesn’t do 0-to-80 well. She’s more like a cross-country runner than a drag racer.
Because we are a family-friendly site, I’m going to break this down in very PG-rated terms. Guys, you are drag racers. You can go from 0-80 mph in just a few seconds. Women however, are more like cross-country runners. It takes us time to get to the finish line and we like to enjoy the scenery along the way. Slow down your race cars and take in the towering trees, chirping birds, and beautiful wildflowers along the way with us and we’ll both come out winners.
9. If she gets that faraway look with a twinkle in her eye and half smile on her lips…that’s Mr. Darcy, Christian Gray, or Rhett Butler she’s thinking of. Don’t take it personally.
There’s something about fiction that just sweeps us away. We like imagining ourselves in a romance novel or movie with the leading guy. Don’t take it personally. We love you a billion percent and you have our complete devotion. But there’s something about escaping to the world of Mr. Darcy, Christian Gray, or Rhett Butler that gives us just the vacation we need from wiping bums and picking spaghetti strands from our hair.
Of course, I can’t speak for all womankind, and I have been known to push the lines a bit. Maybe I’m spot on, maybe I’m so far off GPS can’t even find me. You’ll have to let me know, and while you’re at it…Krypton blue or Copen blue? Although they are 98% close to the same color, that 2% could be disastrous.
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