My grandpa had this saying that goes: “When you’ve got kids, that’s what you’ve got.”
Meaning that when you’ve got kids, you’ve always got some surprise, some mess, or some instance that has you scratching your head and realizing that kids will be kids.
But as a mom of four all under eight years old, I find I’m happier when everyone listens and obeys. And when I’m happy, the mood of the entire house brightens—it is something you can tangibly feel. I don’t want to have to beg, yell, threaten, or bribe to get that kind of euphoria.
I discovered this incredible trick about a year ago when at my wits end trying to get my kids to listen, I saw the kitchen timer, set it for 15 minutes, and by golly if those kids didn’t hop to!
“But there are no cute charts, no glittering incentives, no clever punishments involved,” I said to myself. “How can this possibly work?”
It can and it does. If you want your kids to obey the first time, if you want them to listen to the words coming out of your mouth without yelling them, try the amazing timer trick.
The Amazing Timer Trick: How I Get My Kids To Obey the First Time
What You Need:
A timer. That’s it. No elaborate chart system, no 10-step program. That’s the beauty of the timer trick—it is easy, convenient, and any timer works. I use my phone timer, the microwave timer, or a small kitchen timer. As long as it counts down the time and kids can see it working, any timer is perfect.
How the Timer Trick Works:
Take any task you’d like your child to do: chores, cleaning up a mess they made, getting dressed, etc. Historically it might have taken me an average of ten attempts to get my kids to finally kick into gear and obey. This is called nagging and I don’t know anyone in the world who likes that.
Instead of nagging, I ask once and then announce I am setting the timer. It might sound something like this:
“Hey guys, it’s time to clean up those blocks you got out. I am setting the timer for 15 minutes and let’s see if you can beat it! Whoever beats the timer gets to come with me on a bike ride.”
It is incredible how they jump into action when a timer is involved. 
Why it Works:
Why do we react to a timer? Because it gives us a sense of urgency. It’s the same marketing trick used on consumers. Place a timer on a sale or a survey and even grown adults will jump into action.
For example, I recently got an email advertising concert tickets I was interested in. I clicked the link and was met with a timer widget saying something like, “Only 30 tickets left…” and as the clock ticked down the seconds, my heart rate rose and I bought the tickets right then instead of mulling it over for days.
Timer psychology is a fascinating concept that all humans are more productive when we have a countdown. It gives us less time to over-analyze (or dread the task) and helps us spend our time more wisely.
That’s why the timer trick works for kids! When you give them a task and then start a timer that they can visually see counting down, their sense of urgency rises. They have less time for complaining and procrastinating and the task now becomes a game.
And kids love games.
How You Can Use the Timer Trick:
You can use the timer trick in any situation really, but I find it’s best when an incentive is attached. This could be a positive incentive or a negative incentive, you’re call.
Positive Incentives: If they beat the timer
-Staying up an extra 10 minutes before bedtime
-A special treat
-Mom or dad will read a story
-An extra amount toward their chore money, etc.
Negative Incentives: If they don’t beat the timer
-Go to bed 10 minutes early
-Lose screen time
-Won’t get to play with friends
-Don’t get dessert after dinner, etc.
The thing I love about the timer trick is that it removes the parent as the “bad guy.” Instead of battling mom or dad, kids are now battling the timer. There is competition involved, which is a positive motivator because kids aren’t competing with each other, but rather themselves. It’s you versus the timer and no one else. If the timer goes off and you didn’t make your bed, you only have yourself to blame.
As long as you start the timer with a reasonable amount of time to complete a task, the timer trick will work. Keep it fair and keep it consistent and get your kids to obey the first time.
Getting kids to help around the house doesn’t have to be a fight. Check out these other great tips:
Household Chore Ideas for Kids – 9 Creative Ways to Put Your Kids to Work
How to Teach Your Child to Clean ANY Bedroom in Ten Minutes (Without Using a Blowtorch)
Spring Cleaning? 6 Tips on Encouraging your Child to Help
Bethany from CuteCapsuleLife says
This so definitely works!! I use this trick almost everyday at bedtime and also with chores like folding laundry. They see it like a contest or race!
Heidi says
I really love the timer and need to use it more often as my kids think everything takes a torturously long time to do. Heck the timer helps me too!
Chuck says
Literally used the timer in the middle of reading this article. The second I said ‘you have two minutes’ the kids did what I asked without fighting! They gasped and got busy! Magical!
Nicolette says
Awesome! I’m telling you, it is magic.
Lisa says
Thanks for the reminder! Seems I used to use the timer more but I forgot along the way. It is amazing how it works, even for putsey eaters. 10 minute timer and all of a sudden they are done eating! Lol!
Jocelyn says
This works for three of my kids, but not the fourth. I can tell her she has to make a decision by the time the timer goes off, such as if she is going to eat dinner or not, and she can’t do it. All she can do is focus on the timer and it ticking down and how she won’t be able to make a decision by the time it is done. I give her 5 minutes to make the decision – not eat dinner, just decide to eat or not, and she spends the whole time fretting, whining, and crying about the timer being on and the decision never gets made. She is 8, so it’s not like it is something she can’t do. Any suggestions?
Nicolette says
Hi Jocelyn,
I’m a huge proponent of natural consequences. So whenever I use the timer trick, I always point out the natural consequence for not obeying. So if we use the dinner example, I might say, “You have 10 minutes to eat your dinner. When the timer beeps, I have to take the plate away and clean up the table. There will be nothing more to eat tonight. But if you do choose to eat by the time the timer goes off, you can have a cookie for dessert.”
I like that this gives the child power to make the decision on her own. I hope that helps!
Tevyan says
I don’t know if this is something your daughter is still struggling with but I have had similar issues. It came from a fear of making the wrong decision. It helped me as a child to have someone sit with me & help me see down both paths, to really see the consequences of my decision. I also needed help seeing that either decision was ok, permission if you will to make a choice. Sometimes their little minds get stuck or overwhelmed. With four kiddos I’m sure this is much easier said than done but might really help her in all areas in the long run. I just wanted to share my experience and I hope it helps a little.
Nicolette says
Amazing advice. Thanks for sharing.
Bonnie Stokes says
I am a grandparent and the timer is most often my best friend! It works and I am always amazed at the simplicity of it. Thank you for sharing. I have told my fellow grands about the success of it often.