You know those couples who make marriage look easy? The ones who are best friends and sparkle when they’re around each other? No one ever said relationships were easy, but some couples seem to navigate it with such ease. What are they doing differently? These couples have learned that fighting is only meant for a boxing arena and not a relationship. Check out these 8 things that couples who never fight are doing differently!
8 Things Couples Who Never Fight Do Differently
1. They have conversations—not yelling matches.
Fighting in a relationship is no bueno, but that’s not to say there can’t and won’t be disagreements. The big difference between a fight and a disagreement lies in communication. You have to talk about the things that are bugging you. You have to have a conversation about your differences in opinion. No cold shoulders, no freeze-outs, no sweeping issues under the rug. I once heard a quote that has stuck with me forever:
“There should be no yelling in the home unless there is a fire.”–David O. McKay
2. Let the little things slide.
So your wife always leaves her tennis shoes out for you to trip on–so your husband crumples his wet towel and drops it on the floor when the towel rack is two steps away. There will always be little things that just bug. Couples who never fight have learned to let those little things slide. Some things just aren’t worth fighting over.
3. Be quick to apologize.
You probably had disagreements or fights before that leave both of you feeling angry all day…even several days. That yucky feeling causes chinks in your relationship armor the longer it’s left to run rampant. How many of those fights can be nipped in the bud if you’d just apologize? Learn to apologize quickly. Even if you feel you’re not in the wrong–even if you’re the stubborn one in the relationship. Being quick to apologize will save you lots of heartache in the long run.
4. Compliment each other.
My father once told me a story about a woman who felt her marriage was on the brink of divorce. She sought counseling and was told something unexpected: compliment your husband every day for one week. Compliment him? On what? the woman thought. She had nothing positive to say about him, but she agreed to the challenge.
The first day, the best she could come up with was, “That tie looks really nice on you.” Her husband looked at her kind of funny and replied, “Thanks.” Each day, it became easier to pay him a compliment, and he in turn started complimenting her. This one tiny gesture improved their relationship immensely.
5. Openly express your gratitude.
A little thank you makes a big deal. When’s the last time you sat down and listed all of the good things your partner does in your relationship? Do it, in your head, and then find a way to openly say it out loud. It’s easy to find faults, but couples who never fight choose to say thanks for the strengths!
6. Spend quality time together.
Life gets busy, we all know that. And a relationship, like a plant, needs nourishment to grow. That nourishment is time spent together. Go out on a date. Just make it happen, even when work gets crazy or kids overrun you. Lay in bed together for an extra 15 minutes rather than rushing to get up. Meet for lunch or snuggle up for a movie night. Whatever you do, do it often.
7. Laugh, a lot!
Whomever coined the phrase, laughter is the best medicine, was right on! One of the most endearing qualities that drew me to my husband is his ability to make me laugh…even after 10 years! When you fill your relationship with laughter, there is little room for fighting.
8. Couples who never fight have one similar goal: to make each other happy.
It sounds simple, but so many times, in so many relationships, selfish desires get in the way. Healthy relationships are all about compromise, as cliche as that sounds. He likes to golf, you like to shop–take turns watching the kids while you both get to do what you want. He’s lactose intolerant, you love cheese like it was chocolate–order your pizza half and half or wait ’til you hear the door shut before delving into your secret ice cream stash.
For some of you, these things come naturally, others have to work hard at them. Many therapists believe fighting is a healthy part of relationships. Personally, I could 100% do without it.
What helps your relationship sail smoothly?
Showing our significant other just how much we care doesn’t have to be a daunting task. We are about to make it so easy for you – check out these great ideas for bringing back the romance, the easy way: